Happily Ever After

Teah has never been into princesses, frilly things, wearing dresses or jewelery. We've never read Cinderella and the two times we've been to Disney World we couldn't even find time to get the princesses autographs - Buzz Lightyear, Flik, and Minnie Mouse were much higher on the priority list. She's just not your typical girly-girl and for this reason I was even more surprised by what she said to me the other day.

Quite often in our daily lives the subject of marriage comes up for some reason or another. We talk about people getting married in general, Mommy and Daddy getting married, who gets married, why people get married, and people getting divorced. One day during one of our conversations about getting married, Teah looked at me with an expression on her face that I don't think I've ever seen before. It was definitely a starry-eyed, girl in love, happily ever after face and she said to me, "Mom, will you and Daddy love each other forever". It was just as much a statement as a question and I thought she was about to start dancing and singing "Someday my prince will come".

The only thing I could think when she said that was, "Uh Oh. Now we can really screw this girl up." Thankfully my answer to her question is Yes, but her question made me realize that she has entered into a new realm of emotional understanding where her little heart could get broken and have ramifications long into her future. Sometimes it's scary what an awesome responsibility parenting is.

The Worst Best Kids Ever

My kids are the best, no the worst, maybe the best, definitely the worst, sweetest kids ever! I was going to write this blog only about the sweetest things that they say, but being a realist and not wanting the world to get the wrong impression, I had to add both sides of the coin. Also, when I'm 60 and my kids are asking me for advice with their own kids, I know I will have forgotten the bad and only remember the good, so they can look back on this blog and know they weren't perfect angels ;)

Having a 3 and a 6 year old can be challenging to say the least (as all you parents out there know) and there are many times when I want to run away and throw in the towel. Just yesterday Teah was on the floor in an aisle at Meijer (the grocery store for you non-midwesterners) screaming and throwing a tantrum because I made her get out of the TV cart because she wouldn't stay sitting down on the bench. Carter sat in time-out for 20 minutes, screaming for the first 5, refusing to rinse out his yogurt container and put it in the recycling. I also cannot count the number of times this week that Teah has said that I'm being mean by enforcing one of our well-known house rules. Carter punched his sister, Teah tried to make him do everything her way, tantrums were thrown, doors were slammed, I was verbally and physically abused - all in the last week. I'm not saying that my kids are horrible and in moments of calm and rational thought I understand that they're still so small and learning how to control their emotions and deal with the lack of control and change in the world around them. They're learning how to appropriately deal with difficult social situations and I'm the one who needs to teach them. This is of course more difficult to remember in the heat of the moment when I'm throwing in the towel.

So, I can only thank the heavens that these children of mine are also the sweetest kids on the earth. Here are some of the wonderful things they say and do that make the work worth it. Last week during our time together when Teah was at school, Carter was playing and having a good time. He stopped, walked over to me and said in the sweetest, most sincere little 3 year old voice, "Mom, you're my best friend". The other day Teah had noticed that there are a lot of girls in her class taller than her and we were discussing the fact that people come in all shapes and sizes. I mentioned that it was possible that she would grow up and be short, since I am short myself and we share the same genes. She looked at me with true happiness on her face and said, "Mom, I'm going to grow up to be just like you!" I get kisses, hugs, the biggest squeezes EVER, and I love you's every day.

I'm not the perfect parent, my kids aren't perfect angels, but the love that we share is an amazing thing that will hopefully get us through the moments that are the most difficult.

Robert's comments after reading this post: "Our kids aren't superlatives. They're not the best or the worst. They're kids and they're wonderful."

Equal Rights For All

Teah and I had a pretty amazing conversation today about equality, but before I recount what was said, I need to explain a few things that Teah and I had previously discussed.

A few weeks ago Teah and I were talking about marriage and I pointed out the fact that it isn't only boys and girls that get married, but boys and boys or girls and girls. I also let her know that in many states in the U.S. it is against the law for two people to marry each other if they're the same sex. This, I explained, was the reason that Aunt Andie and Aunt Chris got married in Canada. About the same time we were having these discussions, Teah was also learning about Martin Luther King, Jr. at school. She came home and told me that people with dark skin or light skin didn't used to be able to do the same things, but MLK helped to change the rules so that everyone was equal.

So, Teah had these separate discussions tucked away in that amazing brain of hers. Tonight she connected them all on her own in a pretty awesome way. On our way to a friends house we were chatting in the van and somehow the subject of babies came up. Almost always when we talk about babies Teah tells me that she doesn't want to have any when she grows up - she decided this many months ago at exactly the same time she learned that having babies hurts. I told her that probably she could wait to make that decision until she was a grown-up and maybe she would want to talk to the boy she's going to marry about it as well. This is when she said, "Mom, if I move to another country when I'm a grown-up then I can marry a girl if I want to". I told her that she was right, but that probably by the time she was a grown-up she would be able to marry a girl here in the United States since there were people fighting to change the rules. To this Teah responds with, "AGAIN?", in an agitated voice. My first thought was that she was confused and thought that same sex marriage was legal before and they were fighting to change it for a second time. So, I told her that they weren't fighting "AGAIN" because it had always been against the law for two girls to get married. Seemingly exasperated, Teah responded to me, "No Mom, I mean the rules that were changed when people with light skin and dark skin couldn't do the same things". She was frustrated that people had already fought for equality and now they were doing it AGAIN!

WOW. Even a six-year old can see the parallels between the fight for same sex marriage and the fight for civil rights.

A Weekend Visit

This past weekend we were happy to finally be able to find a time to get together with Dan, Annalee, and Miles. Miles has gotten so big since we last saw him and at almost 16 months old he runs around like a pro and had a great time playing with Teah and Carter. I pulled out our more age appropriate toys and we even blew up the bouncer. Miles impressively took everything in stride and I think even had a great time. By the end of the evening he even warmed up to the dog and they were playing catch and laughing. My camera was low on batteries and my charger was MIA, so I only pulled it out at the very end of the evening to snap a few pictures of Miles.

Tulips in February

I would like to say Thank You to Meijer for selling these awesome tulip bulbs in a vase so that I can have long-lasting tulips in February. They really brighten up the house in the winter!

Pool Sharks

Well, we're on our way to being a family of pool sharks :) We picked up a used pool table off of Craigslist in the fall and every now and again we find the time to play with it. Robert gives the kids lessons and works on his tricks and I try to slop a few balls in every now and again. Here are some pictures I snapped this evening.

Robert showing Teah how to hold her cue.


Then, of course, she wanted to do it herself


Yeah! She actually hit the cue ball ;)


Carter gets some help from Daddy


Robert practicing his "trick" shot. He jumps the cue ball over the 1 and hits the 8 ball. He made it into the pocket in only three tries.


Carter's head shot for when he hits the pro circuit

Crazy Hair

This is Teah after jumping in the bouncer :)

Sweet Dreams

Vegas! The dog, not the city...

The Hilliards have a new family member and I have a new blog subject! Meet Vegas, our rescue dog.

Almost 3 1/2 years ago now, our first ever dog, Scrappy, died of cancer. Carter was only about 5 weeks old, so we weren't in any hurry to replace Scrappy with all of the other demands of our two children. Now that the kids are older and both in school, I decided it was time to start thinking about getting another dog. I started looking before Christmas, but with the holidays and Robert's knee surgery, we put off the decision.We still weren't sure if we were ready, but the kids and I decided to go to a dog adoption this past weekend to just look around and pet some dogs - or so we thought!

Vegas was listed as a Schnauzer mix, although from the looks of his wiry hair, short legs, curly tail, and long snout I'm guessing he is a mutt through and through with a mix of many different breeds. We adopted Vegas from The Animal Rescue Project and they told us what little they knew about his history. He was found in mid-November tied up at a rest area near battle creek. He was found with the tags in the picture, showing that he had a rabies vaccination in Las Vegas, NV in 2007. The Battle Creek animal control facility called the numbers and tried to locate his owners, but they were unsuccessful. After 10 days, The Animal Rescue Project rescued Vegas from the shelter, where if he stayed too long he would have been put down. Vegas was at their shelter for 2 months before we decided to take him home. The shelter estimated him to be about 4 years old.


Robert was working, so I was sure that we wouldn't come home with a dog, but after spending almost an hour in the petting room with Vegas, I fell in love. He passed all of the tests - pulling on ears and tail, taking away rawhide without aggression, not a crazy barker, enjoyed playing with dog toys, got along well with another dog, and he wasn't overly assertive about needing our attention. Also, he was the cutest scraggly mutt I've ever seen, and if you had ever met Scrappy, you know that's just the look I love! So, after getting Robert's OK over the phone, we decided to bring him home!!

After stopping at the pet store for the essentials, we brought him home, set up his food and water, showed him where to do his business, and gave him a bath. Since Vegas was at the shelter and not in a foster home, the rescue wasn't sure if he was house-trained. So, I decided to keep him in our basement until we could figure out exactly where he stood on that front (the carpet down there is much more cleanable than on the main level). When Robert got home the next day Vegas greeted him with doggy enthusiasm and the family was complete :)

In the few days that we've had Vegas I've learned that he is indeed house-trained, he loves to play fetch and will bring the toy back and immediately drop it at your feet for another throw, he enjoys chewing rawhides and nylabones, he's great on car rides (he's ridden along on a few trips to preschool), and he's generally an awesome dog. I can't imagine why his former family would've wanted to give him up, but their loss is definitely our gain! Here's a few pics I've taken of him over the last few days. Have I mentioned that I also have a new photographic subject :) My kids are probably thankful to not be the only ones having to pose anymore!

Makin' Lunch

Carter loves to help me cook and I couldn't resist snapping some pictures of him while we were making mac -n- cheese the other day. How cute is he? :)

Getting Dressed

Carter is 3 1/2 years old now and really becoming very independent. I can't believe how big he is and I just needed to document something that he does all by himself. He's just so cute. So, here he is getting dressed.

Bathtime

Well, I've been so focused lately on improving my professional photography skills that I have neglected taking pictures of our everyday life. So, it's time to get back to the blog with some bathtime pictures. For some reason I love pictures of the little ones in the bath. So, this afternoon Carter was having a ball in our jacuzzi tub and I decided to snap a few pictures of him. He didn't have any of his bath toys, just a few cups and he stayed in there playing for over 30 minutes! He loves the bubbles that the jacuzzi makes after I wash his hair. It's hilarious when he decides to put some on his chin and say, "Ho Ho Ho"!

Carter's Second Day

Well, today was an emotionally exhausting morning all around. When I mentioned going to preschool this morning Carter immediately told me that he didn't want to go and that he didn't like preschool. That was not what I was hoping for! I tried everything I could think of to convince the kid to go, but he would not budge. When we pulled into the parking lot he didn't want to go in and I got him through the door without crying, but as soon as we sat down to put his slippers on he just started screaming. Mary came over and "took over" and I said a quick goodbye and walked out - a heart-wrenching thing to do! Of course I was crying as well having to leave him like that. I overreacted to the situation and started thinking that I would have to take him out of school because it was never going to work - I guess those were my emotions in overdrive. I was worried that he would be upset on and off for the entire two hours and was fully expecting Mary to tell me as much. Thankfully, it was not as bad as I thought it would be and was probably harder on me than him! It did take them 30 minutes to get him to calm down, but after that he had fun with his "work" and played on the playground. His teachers agreed that he's not so good with groups, so they are staying aware of that and trying to help him through those situations. THANKFULLY, one of his assistant teachers is wonderful and sits with him when he is upset and they have bonded well. Also, it sounds like he has become friends with a little boy named JJ who was also a little sad at drop-off time today. Oh, and Carter and JJ have the same red crocs, so they must be friends :) Mary suggested that I bring Carter in 15 minutes early tomorrow so he can get settled in without the other children around. When I mentioned to Carter that we were going to go early tomorrow so that he could sit at his favorite place and get out his favorite work he gave his standard reply that he DID NOT want to go. When I asked him if he wanted to go with Teah and have her show him some work he actually said yes, so I think that I'll bring her along as well. So, I have higher hopes for tomorrow and today didn't turn out near as bad as my imagination made it out to be!

Carter's First Day

This week is Carter's orientation week for his first year of preschool at the Montessori School. Orientation week kicked off yesterday with a 45 minutes individual meeting with his teacher, Mary. Today, tomorrow, and Friday the new students are in the classroom from 9am until 11am (normal hours are 9am to noon). For those not familiar with Montessori, the classrooms have multiple ages and the primary classrooms consist of ages 3, 4, and 5 (two years of preschool and kindergarten). Teah was in Mary's classroom last year as a 4 year old and will continue to be in her classroom, with Carter, as a 5 year old this year. Since this week is for new students only, Carter has been on his own without his sister.

I was a little nervous going into this week with Carter because he has always been pretty attached to me as well as not really being a fan of being in large groups of children. Anything over 5 or 6 kids has been a challenge for him in the past when we attended gymnastics class, library story time, etc. Thankfully, Carter is familiar with Mary and the classroom since Teah was there all last year, so that's at least a good start. His meeting with Mary yesterday went well. I stayed for a few minutes while Mary started giving Carter lessons on the "work" of his choice and then I left the classroom to go to the office for 15 minutes or so. Carter did a great job and seemed excited for today. He told me that his favorite lesson was the "tong work" where he uses a child-sized set of tongs to move small wooden animals from one bowl to another.

This morning I made his favorite breakfast before preschool - french toast. I even used cinnamon bread instead of regular bread to make it extra special :) Robert is on vacation this week, so I have been able to fully concentrate on Carter and his transition. Drop-off went well this morning. I stayed in the coat room while Carter put his slippers on and went off into the classroom to start doing some of the great work he learned about yesterday. While he was in the classroom I was thankful to have the distraction of the parent's coffee with Pam (the director of the school). I picked him up on the playground at 11am. I found him happily playing on the jungle gym and the minute he saw me he started crying and hid under the structure. I think this is just his way of dealing with the change, because he said he didn't want to stay and play, but that he didn't want to leave either. Mary told me that Carter had a few difficult periods in the classroom during transition times. When it was time for meeting he cried and was taken into the quiet room where one of the teachers helped him to feel better so that he could rejoin the class. He also had a crying episode on the playground when he was trying to play in the little house that was full of other children.

So, his first day wasn't as bad as it could've been, but wasn't great either. I really think that his insecure feelings when it comes to transition times will get significantly better when Teah is in the classroom with him. I told her today (with Carter out of earshot) that Carter had a tough time at meeting today and asked her if she could help him out next week. I suggested that maybe he could sit next to her during meeting and she told me matter-of-factly that Nathan and Maddie sat next to each other last year and they are brother and sister. So, we have two more Teah-free days to get through and then I'm hoping things will start looking up.

As for my transition, I was less emotional than I thought I would be, but I think it will really hit me next week when I drop both of my babies off! I snapped a few pictures yesterday and today and wanted to share - here is the link to the album: Carter's First Week

Kid Questions

The kids ask the funniest questions sometimes, so I've decided to start posting some of them. Today, Teah asked me:

Mom, why is it called your pinky if it isn't pink?

hmmmm....

Also, today was Carter's 3rd birthday and we finally decided that it was time to take his bottles away (I know - it's about time). When I was giving him his cup this evening he asked me:

Mom, when will I turn 2 again?

He did go to sleep without any problems at all with his new big boy cup.

Ribbit

I couldn't resist Carter in his froggy towel after his bath:

A New Uno

Unfortunately, a few weeks ago we lost one of our little mousy pets to what I hope was old age and not some type of poor caring for on our part. I told the kids that Uno the mouse had gotten old and died and they seemed to accept it pretty well. It seemed like a problem, though, that now we had mice named Dos and Tres. Without the introductory mouse the names seemed off. Teah suggested that we change Dos' name to Uno and Tres' name to Dos. Carter was the one who suggested replacing Uno the mouse with a new mousy friend. We waited until after vacation and finally made it to the pet store today to get a replacement Uno, also being called Uno numero dos, Uno 1.1, and The New Uno. For those of you who are freaked out by rodents, I apologize for the close-up, but I of course think that she's the cutest little mouse. She's much smaller than any of the three we originally bought, so hopefully we actually ended up with a baby mouse to start off with this time.

The New Uno

Uno checking out Teah

Atlanta - Day 1

Today was our first full day in Atlanta after taking two days to drive down and arriving at our rental condo late last night. Robert will be taking his Anesthesia oral board exam tomorrow (wish him luck!) and then we'll spend the rest of the week vacationing as a family. With Robert in his hotel room studying most of the day today, the kids and I hit Lenox Square Mall and Piedmont Park. We stayed at the mall just long enough for me to stop at Sephora (woohoo!) and grab lunch at the food court. Once again we used vrbo.com and found a rental condo instead of going for a hotel room. The condo is 4 blocks from Piedmont park with 2 bedrooms and 1 bath, plus kitchen, living room, and small sun room - not as spacious as the house in Tampa, but soooo much nicer than an itty bitty hotel room for the 4 of us. After a short rest at the condo, we took advantage of the location and walked to Piedmont Park. I used to take Scrappy to the dog park at Piedmont when we lived in Atlanta and the park was generally just always a beautiful place to go. The kids were brave enough to venture into the dog park (a fenced in area where the dogs can run off-leash and play) and try to pet some of the dogs. I also discovered that Piedmont Park has a playground for kids - funny that I never saw it when we lived here before, but since we moved away when Teah was only 6 months old, I never had the need to pay attention! I brought my new baby, Canon t1i :), to the park with us and took some pictures of the kids. Unfortunately, the upload speed of the internet at the condo is too slow, but I will for sure be posting pics when we get home. Robert took time off of studying for dinner and we ate at Everybody's Pizza with one of our great friends, Sarah. Overall, a great day.

Quote of the Day

"I'm not cranky because I'm tired. I'm cranky because you say no to ALL of the things that I want."

~Teah, 5 years old

Conversations with Carter

Carter is getting to be so big and has really started to be quite the conversationalist. So, I'm going to start a new type of blog entry called, "Conversations with Carter". This post is a video of a conversation I had with the little guy. I had no idea where it would lead, but it ended up being hilarious!